


Heather

by mrc_1205



Series: Heather AU [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Conan Gray Song, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay John Laurens, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Hurt/Comfort, I think?, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Modern Era, Song: Heather (Conan Gray), Songfic, Unrequited Love, Who Knows?, You'll Have to Read to Find Out - Freeform, but is it?, chef! Lafayette, conan gray - Freeform, fashion designer! Hercules, heather - Freeform, i dont know, singer! John Laurens, therapist! alexander hamilton, they're both in pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26216626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrc_1205/pseuds/mrc_1205
Summary: John is singing his new song: 'Heather' and reminiscing over what it all means, until Alexander Hamilton: the subject of the song walks in.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: Heather AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980965
Comments: 16
Kudos: 65





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Conan Gray's album Kid Krow and Heather came on. It made me think of Lams so I wrote this, hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

_ “I still remember, third of December _

_ Me in your sweater,” _

John Laurens sings quietly; he’s just finished writing this new song:  _ ‘Heather’  _ and he’s singing it for the first time. He’s sitting at his piano in his shared office with his roommate, best friend and crush: Alexander Hamilton. He’s looking out of the window over New York City. He thinks of that day as he stares at the seemingly endless skyscrapers: 

**Alex and John were out with their friends Hercules and Lafayette. They were absolutely pissed and ended up at Alex and John’s flat from the club; John doesn’t remember how. It was a cold December night and John was complaining as he usually did when it got cold: he’s still used to the South Carolina winters that weren’t cold at all in comparison. Alex huffed and took off his old Columbia jumper he had been wearing, “Stop complaining would you Laurens?” John took the jumper greedily.**

_ “You said it looked better on me, _

_ than it did you” _

**John slipped the soft, worn in material over his messy hair: it smelt like Alex. He smiled a wide grin as the fabric touched his exposed, freckled arms - the same place it had touched Alex’s only seconds ago, “Looks good on you, better than me anyway.” Alex grins and Laf and Herc giggle.**

**“Mon ami, anything would look better on John than you,” Laf says, “You are too skinny, you need to eat.” He’s always on Alex about his weight and how much he works but even Laf’s amazing food can’t take Alex off his work. Laf was a food tech major at NYU while John and Alex were at Columbia. John has known Laf and Herc since High School but they all met Alex when he became Alex’s roommate (and crush/best-friend) at college. They are all out of college now, Laf is a celebrity chef, Herc a fashion designer for Gucci, John a world-famous singer and Alex is a therapist with several high-class clients. But that night, they weren’t any of those things. They were Laf, Herc, John and Alex or as their friends in college called them: the Sons of Liberty.**

_ “Only if you knew _

_ How much I liked you” _

The memory fades back into the bright New York sunshine and brings John back to the song. He thinks of Alex and his heart flutters, he thinks of the angular cheekbones and slick hair, he thinks of the passion and determination he puts into his work. John thinks about Alex’s lips, surrounded by a circle of facial hair and wishes he could place a delicate kiss there. He can’t think of a time when he didn’t like Alex, he’s always been beautiful and dedicated. John has always wanted to tell Alex but couldn’t bring up the courage and now, Alex is in love with someone else:

_ “But I watch your eyes, as she _

_ Walks by” _

**It was mid-December, Alex and John were sitting in the window of a coffee shop: hunched over their warm coffees. They were mid conversation when Alex’s eyes caught something outside the café. He stared and John followed his gaze to a woman:**

_ “What a sight for  _

_ Sore eyes _

_ Brighter than a _

_ Blue sky,” _

**Alex breathed out. Her dark brown hair was half tied up and her impeccable figure was evident in the blue, knitted dress she was wearing. The blue shone bright on the glum winter day, “I’m going to go talk to her.” John sat and watched as he went and excitedly talked to the girl and managed to give her his number. He could tell Alex was already whipped. He thought, then:**

_ “She’s got you _

_ Mesmerised” _

His hands play the piano by themselves, his mind is lost in his thoughts and the words he’s singing:

_ “While I die” _

He’s staring at the busy New York skyline, the sun is high in the sky and the streets are filled with people who look a lot happier than John right now. John enjoys the pain that circles his gut as he sings, staring into the blue sky. The blue reminds him of her: Eliza. He changed her name in the song to make it less obvious it was about Alex, he’ll still probably know, if he hears it.

_ “Why would you ever kiss me? _

_ I’m not even half, as pretty _

_ You gave her your sweater _

_ It’s just polyester, but you like her better _

_ Wish I were Heather.” _

He’s so caught up in the pain and emotion of the song he doesn’t hear the door open and shut or Alexander’s heavy sigh as he enters their apartment.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander Hamilton has had a shitty day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listened to Conan Gray and this fic was born!
> 
> find the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPUg7n8-M6o
> 
> and the full album here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBHHGXT9bRs&list=OLAK5uy_mvnCMI9XFrXuA83z36Ee808ctpL_K25JI
> 
> I would highly recommend you guys listen to his album, it's amazing!
> 
> Sorry this chapter's sort of short luvs, trying to finish this fic all tonight and this was just how the cookie crumbled

**Chapter 2**

Alexander Hamilton has had a shitty day. He’d been held up at work, arguing with Jefferson which meant that he was late for his date with his girlfriend: Eliza. She was pissed at him for being late and that somehow spiralled into her breaking up with him. It turns out the whole point of the date was for her to do just that. She found out about Maria Reynolds and it took all of her power to wait until that night to break it off with him: she needed to hit him while he was down, Hamilton thinks glumly, with Eliza things weren’t glum, she was always there in bright blue to cheer him up. 

Eliza was the best thing that hit Hamilton since his chance to come to America. She’s beautiful and good and Alex sighs as he enters the apartment, trying to stop thinking about her. His plan for tonight is to get drunk with his best friend (who he definitely does not like) but that plan is interrupted as he hears John singing. He doesn’t recognise the melody so it must be a new song, which draws him closer to the office, his curiosity gets the better of him as he listens to John’s husky voice sing:.

  
  


_ “Watch as she stands with _

_ Her holding your hand” _

Alex wonders who John is singing about.

_ "Put your arm ‘round her shoulder _

_ Now I’m getting colder” _

Alex remembers, a week after he and Eliza began dating he took her to the park to meet his friends. It was a fresh January morning and John had mentioned how cold it was right after Hamilton had put his arm around Eliza. It was probably just wishful thinking by his broken heart though - John was not writing sad love songs for Alexander. John would never like him back. He could hope though, hope this song was about him.

_ “But how could I hate her? _

_ She’s such an angel.” _

John’s voice sounds deflated and Hamilton thinks: if this was about him and Eliza, as Alex suspected, John could not be more right. Eliza is an angel, an angel Hamilton never deserved to call his own. An angel whose heart he broke with some dumb, drunk mistake. An angel he loves. But, there is another angel in Hamilton’s life, an angel singing right now, an angel Hamilton also loves.

_ “But then again, kinda _

_ Wish she were dead, as she _

_ Walks by,” _

John’s singing stops and for a moment Alex is worried he’ll catch him standing at the door to their office. John hates people listening to his music before it’s ready, or before he’s ready but Alex can’t bring himself to shut the door. He just wants to stand and listen to John’s beautiful voice and imagine the song being about him. His fears wash away when John continues singing:

_ “What a sight for  _

_ Sore eyes” _

John’s voice is filled with emotions as he reaches the higher notes with ease. His eyes never lose focus on the sky and Alex is glad because that means he can stand and listen and pretend John loves him too.

_ “Brighter than a  _

_ Blue sky,” _

Alex has to stop himself from crying out. He recognises those words, he had said them, the first time he saw Eliza: she had lit up the entire street in her bright blue winter dress. Those were the words he had engraved on the locket he gave her for her birthday. Those words meant the song was about him. He half smiled until John began to sing again, pain echoing through his voice;

_ “She’s got you  _

_ Mesmerised _

_ While I die” _

The pain in Laurens voice is evident. It always comes out when he sings, that's when he lets down his guard. Alex has cried at John’s songs before but this one - knowing he caused John to be this hurt - it makes him feel a different level of pain he’s never felt before. All Alex wants to do is run to John, tell him it’ll be alright, tell him he loves him too, but John keeps singing and Alex stays still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like that!
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated but you don't have to! :)


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the finale!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPUg7n8-M6o  
> and the album here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBHHGXT9bRs&list=OLAK5uy_mvnCMI9XFrXuA83z36Ee808ctpL_K25JI
> 
> I hope you like the final instalment of this.

**Chapter 3**

_ “Why would you ever kiss me? _

_ I’m not even half, as pretty _

_ You gave her your sweater” _

John finds comfort in the chorus and lets his mind wander to the sweater he’s singing about. It’s a ratty old Columbia sweater from freshman year that John has an identical copy of. The jumper is falling apart at the seams and it reeks of Alexander. It’s almost always either in the wash or in use. John hates his version of it - his Columbia sweatshirt sits at the back of his closet, taunting him and his stupid, unrequited crush on his best friend.

_ “It’s just polyester, but you like her better _

_ I wish I were Heather” _

John thinks of the soft material of Alex’s sweatshirt, it is cheap and not actually that comfortable but John still feels the urge to feel it against his freckled skin. When he got the chance to wear it, he felt as though Alexander himself had engulfed him in a warm, romantic embrace. But, he thinks as he sings the next two lines and emotionally plays the instrumental, his hands moving elegantly along the keys;

_ “Wish I were Heather _

_ Wish I were Heather” _

Alexander is in love with Eliza not him, those romantic embraces are saved for her, never John. Only her. Never John.

Alex is frozen by his best-friends words - that he knows are about him and his; now; ex-girlfriend. He wants to comfort John, the thoughts of Eliza being pushed aside by ones of John crying in front of him but his body is refusing to move and his vocal cords are refusing to make a noise.

_ “Why would you ever kiss me? _

_ I’m not even half, as pretty” _

Alex thinks, as John sings that no, John isn’t half as pretty - he’s a thousand times prettier than Eliza. He’s perfect, he portrays his emotions through song, he's cute and freckled and he’s already been through so much even though he’s only 23. He’s so strong and so pretty, Alex thinks.

_ “You gave her your sweater _

_ It’s just polyester, but you like her better _

_ Wish I were-” _

“John,” Alex can’t just stand and listen anymore, the pain in John’s voice is too much for him, so he cuts off John's last word. John is frozen on his piano stool - how much had Alex heard? he wonders; had he worked out that John is in love with him?

“Alex,” he says nervously, “How much did you hear?”

“Enough.” John still has his back turned to Alex, he’s staring at the sky praying that it could swallow him whole, “Is it about me?”

John nods his head gloomily, and lowers his gaze to his hands, still lying motionless of the piano keys, “Sorry.” He can’t think of anything else to say.

“Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault. I am pretty attractive.” Both men laugh half-heatedly.

John turns to face Alex, they have tears falling freely down their faces, “Why are you crying? I’m the one wallowing in self-pity writing a depressing song about my unrequited love.”

“Well, for a start Eliza broke up with me.”

“Oh,” Laurens doesn’t know what to do with that information: should he be happy that maybe he has a chance with Alex now or upset that his best mate got dumped.

“And John,” John’s thoughts are interrupted, “It isn’t unrequited.” Alex says the last sentence so quietly John almost can’t hear it. Alex walks over to join John on the piano stool, “Can I kiss you?” Alex puts his hand on John’s cheek and wipes away the tear there. John just nods, his vocal cords freezing in shock.

Alex kisses John and it’s perfect, it’s soft, it’s quick. He feels the light scratching of Hamilton’s beard against his chin, and he feels soft lips against his own then suddenly he doesn’t. John thinks fleetingly that he misjudged the situation, or imagined it but then Hamilton smiles. It’s subtle, almost unnoticeable but John sees it and John understands. It’s a promise, a promise to John that: 

He can wear that damn sweater if he wants to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked that! I love Conan Gray's album and this song in particular, I feel like I might revisit this AU and actually write a story and I might write another songfic if ya'll like this one! So tell me if you do! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated if you enjoyed! :)

**Author's Note:**

> My first songfic!
> 
> This will be three chapters long!!!


End file.
